do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
