3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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