Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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