yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
