why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
did i just pee glitter
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
