Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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