I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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