it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
