The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
