took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
