I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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