If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
