Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
