dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
