oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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