I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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