its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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