I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
