I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
