Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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