Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
