I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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