you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
