They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
