ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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