doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize