Do vagina's smell?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
