i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
