I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
