you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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