I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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