Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When are your genitals available?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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