wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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