What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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