i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
