do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A+ Viking dick
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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