Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
