I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
