I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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