I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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