Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
