So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You ruined the universe
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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