One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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