I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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