Soap is not a condiment
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
