also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
