You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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