You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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