lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
