THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
