U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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